Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
