"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
