you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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