Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
