I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My first STD was from a foam party
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
