I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
