Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
