Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
