is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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