it hurts more in the daytime
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
