last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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