I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
