It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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