took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
