i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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