Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
