Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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