Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
