We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
