I just pynch a tree in the face
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
