I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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