we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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