you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
