her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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