try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
