Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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