There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
