I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
