I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Quick, to the slutcave!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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