i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
