I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
