You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
