And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
