i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
