I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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