what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
