where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
