i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
