Where is the hickey?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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