that's an acceptable place to lick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
