i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
