I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
