I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
