how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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