I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
