I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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