i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
