would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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