I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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