we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
